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HIGH COUNCIL COMBATS CIRCULATORY VALERIXIS
Posted by VE Reporter
LOTAITH --- Philanthropists, business leaders and planetary governments should step up their efforts in the battle against Circulatory Valerixis, the Head of High Council told galactic reporters last Thursday from the capital of the Vast Empire on Lotaith.
The Head of High Council, who last week gave a further $100 billion Imperial Credits to help the efforts to contain Circulatory Valerixis, a sexually transmitted disease, spoke of his horror that only two percent of all funds handed over by philanthropists for charitable giving went from rich planets to poor ones.
He said that when he previously gave $750 million Imperial credits to research on the rapidly expanding killer disease Crimson Dioxis, he was told that he was doubling the funds available.
"That is the most apalling thing I have heard. It is literally outrageous how little is put into research on Crimson Dioxis," the Head of High Council said.
It was lucky Circulatory Valerixis was present in the rich world unlike Crimson Dioxis, said the Head of High Council, otherwise the resources being devoted to finding a vaccine for the pandemic would be even lower.
Meanwhile, a Rheagent system population expert predicted a "fatality avalanche" from Circulatory Valerixis and said that so far, every prediction of the scale of Circulatory Valerixis fatalities has proved a serious underestimate.
At the meeting in Tallurian City, Cepany, Rodney Slavko, chairman of the Cepany Mining Copmany, said over 176 trillion people were now infected with the Circulatory Valerixis virus, although almost 90 percent of them did not know they were infected.
"It is a galactic tragedy which needs a galactic effort," Rodney Slavko said.
"It is not a matter of advocating sexual relations. All we are saying is 'have safe sexual relations,'" the spokesperson for the Office of the Vast Empire Ambassador informed reporters last Sunday.
"I believe that the populace of the Rheagent, Sian, Shykar and Vectra systems are not aware of the danger they are facing. Anyone with an active lifestyle can catch this virus. I am living proof of that," candidly stated a member of Vast Empire Naval High Command whose identity has yet to be disclosed by the Office of the Vast Empire Ambassador.
Outside the meeting, Colonel Vladamir Kryceck, director of the Vast Empire population section under the Vast Empire Ambassador, informed reporters that even if a cure was found, trillions more would still die of Circulatory Valerixis because of the difficulties in delivering vaccines and drugs to underdeveloped planets.
Kryceck said that every estimate so far of Circulatory Valerixis infection rates and deaths had proved to be low.
"It is a question of how high we can put the pecuniary figures without being looked upon as lunatics," Kryceck said.
Oberto Capra, director of the Intergalactic Circulatory Valerixis Vaccine Initiative (ICVVI), said the battle against Circulatory Valerixis was being lost because there were five billion infections every day. It was philanthropy that had "jump-started the work, but now both the governments and the Empire were coming in."
The Imperial Emergency Management Agency (IEMA) declined to comment on Circulatory Valerixis, their cooperative relationship with the Circulatory Valerixsis Vaccine Initiative (ICVVI) or any plans they may propose in the future to combat the virus.
HISTORICAL NOTE: Crimson Dioxis is a severe immunological disorder caused by a retrovirus, resulting in a defect in cell-mediated immune response that is manifested by increased susceptibility to opportunistic infections and to certain rare cancers, especially Mohc's sarcoma. It is a febrile highly contagious viral disease which may be transmitted in a variety of ways including exposure to contaminated blood or blood products.
[the above article was a holonews excerpt courtesy of the Lotaith Times]
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